Thursday, August 3, 2006

Scene from the Office Space

About Writing Erotic Stories:

Me, I
Person #1

Setting: 10:30 in the evening. Person # 1 and I are writing an erotic story, as requested by the supervisor. I was on the verge of finishing the first page of the story, which is about fucking behind the closed doors of an office. I was on a roll. My fingers were blazing through the keyboard like a forest fire, typing words that I wouldn’t even imagine myself saying in public (or would I?) However, I encountered a problem with a particular scene from my story. And so it goes…

Me: Alam mo yung tawag sa pag-ganun (does the swiping motion using my left arm, as I draw the movement with my left hand almost touching my right chest, and it goes across, extending my arm to its far side) kapag gusto mo tanggalin yung mga gamit sa lamesa? Ano ba yung word na yun in English?

Person #1: (stops typing for a while, and faces me to her left) Ano ulit?

Me: Yung ganito kapag gusto mo tanggalin yung mga gamit sa lamesa (I repeat the motion as I did before)? Yung parang kapag sa sex, bago mo ilapag yung tao dun?

Person #1: (laughing) Hindi ko alam eh. Tanong mo kay supervisor.

Me: (looks at Person #1 with a dismayed expression) Eh. Wag na lang.

There was a pause for a couple of second. The supervisor didn’t seem to hear us from the other side of the room, and so I was about to turn into my computer and think about my problem alone, when suddenly…

Person #1: Supervisor, alam mo ba yung motion kapag tinatanggal yung mga gamit sa lamesa (also does the motion like how I did it before).

Me: (I faced the discussion by turning behind the back, on my right side, and further elaborated on the issue) Yung ginagawa just before sex…? (Again, I did the motion of swiping my left arm and extending it).

Supervisor: Hmm…(He thinks for a while)

Everybody was silent again for a couple of seconds, as I turned back to my computer, still staring at the screen, my progress halted because of an elusive word that would be integral in relating the ‘office fuck’ story in writing.

Supervisor: Why don’t you just write (set aside)?

Me: Uh, I don’t think that it’s appropriate kasi parang malinis yung pagkakagawa.

Silence again.

Me: Atsaka I thought of writing ‘removed’, but I don’t think it’s appropriate as well kasi parang inisa-isang nilagay yung gamit sa sahig.

The three of us were stumped with that one word. One goddamn word. Then, suddenly…

Me: Oh! How about ‘brushed’?

Supervisor: (face lights up and eyes wide, as if he’d seen Maya unveiled, and nods slowly) Yes…that’s the word.


leannmetalhead said...

damn what a dilemma that was hehe... i wud have surely enjoyed seeing you all thinking about the word!

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