Monday, May 21, 2007

Things That I've Learned in Bohol

- I never really realized how 'special' ubes are made in Bohol until this trip. According to locals, only women are allowed to make ube in Bohol. Busty, naked women under the full moon, that is! The breasts of the woman would "kiss" the ube before it is reaped, or something. After the ube is ripe for the taking, a crack resembling a woman's genital would appear at the surface of the ube. Now, imagine Sunshine Cruz making them ubes. Tasty.

- Locals have also a tale on how the Chocolate Hills were formed. There are actually three versions of the story, and one of the stories had something to do with feces. However, the tour guide only narrated the romantic story, so that disappointed me a bit.

Once upon a time, there was a giant who had a fascination to a townsgirl in Carmen. Unfortunately for the giant, he could only admire the girl at a distance because she already has a boyfriend. And so, the giant gave up on pursuing the girl of his dreams. Well, almost. One day, the giant caught a glimpse of the women taking a both somewhere in perhaps one of the lakes of Carmen. The giant was simply awestruck by the nakedness of the woman that he inched closer to the scene. For he can no longer keep his desires inside, the giant lunged at the woman and embraced her. Little did the giant know that his passionate embrace accidentally suffocated and killed the women. Griefstricken, the giant wept endlessly and let out huge teardrops at the land. Thus, the huge mounds.

Looking at the picture, I wonder how the feces version would go.

-Loboc prides themselves as the town with the best singers in the Philippines. Collectively, they destroy 99.9% of the singing population in the country. The best singers of the town happens to be between 8 to 12 years of age. In fact, the town has an ensemble who has performed on international competitions, most notably in Spain. The contest requires each participating group to sing at least one Spanish compostion, and apparently, the Boholano kids not only bagged the crowd, but also kicked the living shit out of the groups who even had Spanish as their native language. Now that's Pinoy (does the thumbs up gesture)!

- The beaches in Bohol are the best. I shit you not, my friend. It is definitely better than the overhyped Boracay, unless you prefer nightlife partying than pure island getaway. But since I am such an anti-social bitch, I'd choose Bohol in a heartbeat.

Balicasag is among the top 3 snorkling spots in the Philippines. The first one, if I recall correctly, is in Palawan. The tour guide was not able to recall the second best snorkling spot, which leaves Balicasag at number three. It takes roughly around 45 minutes from this place in Bohol which I forgot (stupid me) by palm boat to reach the island. Not a lot of people in Balicasag, I would say. In my humble opinion, the island's white sand and clear salt water pisses all over the commercialized beaches in the country. The snorkling experience was grand. Really, swimming at the deep blue and seeing the corals and the school of fishes make you wonder at the profundity of existence, and you suddenly feel this tingling sensation of wanting to experience all of these beauty in one single flush. But then again, that's just me.

Panglao is seen to be Bohol's version of Boracay. Again, white sand and clear water never dissapoints. One thing that is different with this beach as compared to other beaches is the division between its public and private areas. People coming from the palm boats have to pay a little bit more to enter the private area. The discrepancy has never been much more evident as the public area is loaded with people while the private only boasts a handful of fortunate tourists. Yes, such a system in the beach may appear to be snobbish and elitist, but not unless you reside on that side. Apparently, we were on the private area.

-After coming home from this vacation, I would pretty much save up enough money to go back there again. Seriously, I have yet to go to the Bee Farm and this cave they were talking about, among many other things. A little bit on the expensive side, but this is the real deal, folks! Bohol is d' best (does the thumbs up gesture yet again)!

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