Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Let's Do A Story!


Title: everythingsfineeverythingsfineeverhtusjbfkdjfsfkhj

Characters: Lava, The World, Things, Sadness

Story: Lava came from the outskirts of the Bennysukks universe and has been considered as a failure by his fellow aliens in all the things he does. One light year, he decided to run away from the shits that have been flung to him since his rude awakening, and start life anew.

While traveling the galaxy with his vessel, he came across the World, a place filled with imaginations and possibilities that have yet to be unlocked. Amidst his observation of the World from a distance, Lava thinks of the place as suitable to start his life anew, while developing an intense fascination with blow-torched genitals, long-winded roads, and the concept of being a loser. Lava then transformed into a 20-something male to hide his heinous appearance (by human standards)and to appear normal.

Throughout the years as an inhabitant of the World, Lava begins to live life under his terms. He has had encounters with Things, those that make the World more meaningful, and has enjoyed their company from the very start. All this time, he thought that he had been free from the ghost that was holding him back in the Bennysukks universe. At least, that was he thought during that time.

It was the first time that fateful day when Lava met Sadness, a beautiful being who encompasses the physical realm. Sadness was a mere concept but exploded with feelings that the alien Lava has never felt before from Things, that of sweet and glorious pain. Lava then developed a morbid affinity with Sadness, that he ravaged and raped Sadness to everything that it stood.

Days after, Lava found out all of a sudden how Things no longer acknowledged his presence. When he was with Things, he felt dead and apathetic, feelings that he experience while in the Bennysukks universe. At the same time, his appearance as an alien was slowly showing in front of the Things -- his shriveled nipples, upside-down nose, bushy ass-hairs, and eyes attached to his balls. Realizing this, he immediately ran away as fast and far as he could on long-winded roads to hide his deficiencies, while left feeling like a loser. Although everything he saw was putrid and rotten as a blow-torched genital, he lost the luster he once held for it. Immediately, everything became Sadness.

In the end, Lava ate tuna sandwich and drank pineapple juice in the smallest corner of the world.

Moral: No matter how disgusting and gross they are, blow-torched genitals are oogy.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Problems And Bottles Of Beer

Last night, I invited my friend to join me in a pity session of the ages. Rarely do I have somebody by my side to share my personal issues matters because I usually deal it by myself. I don't want other people to be burgeoned with my life inadequacies and insecurities, since I assume that they have their problems of their own. I could have dwelled with it alone like I used to, but I told to myself, "Fuck that shit."

In my valiant attempt to masquerade as a normal person, my friend and I ended up in this familiar joint we usually spend with our other friends during happier days. The benevolent '80s music blaring from the speakers of the dim-lighted bar proves to be a perfect setting for a personable conversation, happy or sad. What I was about to begin, however, is far from happy.

Of all people, he is the perfect guy to talk to regarding my situation for he has experienced the same thing a couple of years ago. He also asked to accompany him and his misery the afternoon he found out about his problem. We ended up spending that sunless afternoon repeatedly listening to Steve Vai's "Whispering A Prayer" instead.

However, last night turned out differently than expected. Instead of the usual gloom n' doom associated with manly heart-to-heart conversations, I was actually giddy and talkative -- two words that don't usually get associated with my name -- while relating my problem to him. Maybe I was concealing the fact that I have failed again and again as a human being, hence making me a miserable chap. Looking back, I concealed pretty well.

In return, he did supplant me with advice on how he dealt with his situation before. He mentioned how I never really shared much about myself before, about my past failures, and so I did. In the end, our conversation turned out to be more than just bitching about how lame we are, but also how beautifully distorted, and at the same time meaningful, our lives have become, all while gobbling on oily pork tips and chugging bottles of beer. Suffice to say, t'was a fruitful endeavor, minus the fruits.

After the emotional, albeit fun, outpour, we headed back to his car and played tunes from the late '90s, the time in our lives we will cherish the most, with the car windows down, driving on our way home. I never realized how I love Pearl Jam and Cranberries until that evening, or maybe because I was tipsy.

As we arrived in front of my house, he told me to listen to a particular song that speaks about my situation. I immediately went in front of the computer and downloaded it off Limewire, and search for its lyrics. And it goes:

So let me in
All that I wanted from you
Was something you'd never do
So let me in
Oh please tonight
Don't let this end
I'll Fall


  • It's nice to eat more than you can handle.

  • I suck as a human being.

  • I'm getting better at pretending everything is dandy

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Year-End Status Report

2007 has come and gone, I don't really know where to begin. To be honest, it's not a roller-coaster ride, as everybody would say about their own. Although my year is filled with ups and downs, and the mandatory deep-down-under-that-I-don't-wanna-live-anymore feeling during July and August, I would say the year majority of the year went pretty well, minus the thrills and loops.

Things were unfolding in their boring way (a way which I thoroughly like) outside from the occasional slip-ups that I commit once in a while. However, my year took a tremendous fall from grace just this past week, for reasons that will never be disclosed. Imagine yourself jumping off the top of Mount Canyon, but in this case, the pull of gravity seems to last forever, deceiving me to hold a sense of false hope that I would fly and soar back to the top, until reality smashes my body down the ground. Stupid. The law of gravity states that what comes up MUST DEFINITELY come down, and yet I hoped otherwise.

Which is actually one of the worst feelings in the world -- an undetermined, yet inevitable fall.

People unlike me would probably take my situation with a grain of salt and move on with their lives. However, let me tell you a little secret that most of you unconsciously know about me:

I'm fucking abnormal.

Hence, I don't think I can truly recover from this debacle soon.

But I refuse to show signs of distress. I will not render my feelings to a limp, pathetic state because that's very high school. Thank God I'm old.

I have a saying that I try to follow once in a blue moon, and it goes, "The trick is to not care." However, I do care.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

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