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Showing posts from 2008

On Cramming Lots Of Things In A Post

I haven't updated this blog since like forever, so bear with my ranting and ravings as I do a brief rundown of the things I've gone through since my last entry, in no particular order: I saw Sepultura perform at this year's Red Horse Muziklaban. To say that seeing the Brazilian band who influenced me into metal music was awe-inspiring would be an understatement. Originally, I wasn't planning on seeing them since the band has changed their lineup from the time I was really into them and their musical style has morphed into something I've never thoroughly enjoyed, but since I got free passes for the event, fuck it, I'm seeing them! Never have I imagined that I would witness them performing their trademark songs live, but I just did, a couple of feet away. Unreal. Simply put, highlight of 2008. While I was burning the midnight oil in the office days ago, a person whom I haven't talked to for almost two years messaged me on my computer. Things ended in an abrupt

On Reunions

I never liked reunions in any shape or form. I compare them to prom nights where people simply meet up and brag about how pretty or hot their partners are and the fucking that will ensue later than evening. In reunions, people talk about how they've spread their wings and soared after parting ways with others. Of course, reunions would probably end up on a sour note when everybody's realized that their former classmates, friends, and colleagues have drastically changed from before, as their life experiences during the period of estrangement have destroyed the synergy that a certain group of people once had. It's a sad epiphany, I tell you. My former college buddy messaged and told me that one of our classmates will be arriving soon after a full two years into his religious vocation and a reunion will take place by that time. Even if the event called for us to wear formal attire (!), I simply could not say no. So why flinch and put my anti-reunion stance into doubt? I don

On Degeneration

It's one of those times in a day where I don't have anything to do, and instead of reading a good book or watching a good movie, I browsed through some of the old entries I've written for the past two years. You see, the blog was meant to be an outlet to medicate the bad taste left by my final years in college, as well as being part of the unemployment line. True, those days were bawful (bad+awful), but they helped me produce some of the most inspired shit I have written throughout the years, save for the tons of adult video descriptions I did way back in the time (like, a couple of months ago). Not to be sentimental, but damnit, there's something magical when reading even the most lamest of entries of what happened when you were down and out while listening to Slowdive in Hong Kong, or was having a blast playing with Koreans in Zambales, just before I pulled out my CD player and listened to Slowdive again. Ah, the CD player. Anybody remember that? Seriously though, I w

On Brothertime

T'was a regular afternoon in the office as I was sitting half-asleep in front of my computer, navigating the screen with my mouse and doing copy and paste work, when suddenly I smelt a burning odor coming from below our cubicles. I stopped working and exerted all effort in verifying whether the smell had characteristics of something charred and where the smell is coming from. It looks like the smell was coming from my CPU so I freaked out a bit. My instinct told me to turn off the unit but when I reached for the power switch I felt an electric sting at the tip of my fingers. (Must be due to the fact that I have clammy hands.) With my slight fear of electrocution, I pulled my hand away and didn't know what to do while my seatmates were flocking my burnt-smelling CPU. Luckily, somebody without clammy hands calmly turned off the unit, making me look like an as in the process. However, that's besides the point. Actually, it was not my CPU that produced the burning smell, but it

On Shameless Plugs

I don't usually promote stuff in my blog, but I will have to make an exception with this entry. My friend just recently put up his dental clinic called Go Smile! and just like any other start-up business, its word needs to be sprad. Not that this is going to make a whole lot of difference, but this is doing my part of promoting his puny-ass clinic (at least for now). Go Smile! Dental Clinic is located at Manggahan, Pasig, in front of the Sta. Lucia Parish Church. The facilities are new, which makes for a commendable dental experience, but that's a given already. What's pretty cool with the clinic, however, is that patients can make reservations at any time of the day. I made an appointment at 11 in the evening, no problem. Plus, nobody can simply resist its perky logo. --- Our building called for a fire drill one afternoon last week. That meant we had more than an hour to kill before we go back to our normal lives sitting in front of the computer for hours. Some ate, other

On Changes

Theme. It was only more than a year ago that I used black fonts over a pain white background for my blog site. Now, I return to my yellow on blue theme that graced the first few month of activity in my oh-so-precious blog. Really now, this isn't news. But what is? Sounds. These past few weeks, in an attempt to freshen things up, I am currently listening to Mos Def, Talib Kewli, The Roots, BEP pre-Elephunk, and the Roots, as well as a handful of rap artists. Since then, I can't say that my day has been complete without listening to Dr. Dre's "Fuck You." My apologies to the metal community. Norm. After weeks of bitching and whining silently like still water over my new work title and the burdensome responsibility that comes with it, I have come to a epiphany that, yes, I actually can handle this shit. Being the reluctantly willing guy to be sacrificed for an impossible project, I've seen and felt worse, but none of which involved a dick to be stuffed in my as

On Something Aside From Being Haggard

First off, not that you'd actually care with what I'm about to say, but I am glad to report that my bouts of whatever I was feeling on my previous entry has come and gone like a smelly fart. I no longer harbor any grudges or bad feelings over what transpired during those couple of days. Although my mood swings will get the best of me anytime soon, which then would lead me to write another mysterious rant over something so stupid, I'll just enjoy the giddiness and enthusiasm of the moment, if you don't mind. Now, onto the awesome and less abstract happenings of my life. I am currently spending around 12-14 hours in the office trying to beat deadlines and overlook the project, only to fail at doing good on both. As if losing sleep is bad enough. Strangely enough, I'm not complaining. Call me crazy and sexy, but I seem to enjoy the masochistic nature of the corporate environment. Not to mention, a couple of my co-workers seem to not like me, at least from a professiona

On Most Haggardness And The Fake Silver Lining

School is almost out, full-time work has a lot of rather nice things in store for me, and I'm supposed to enjoy my Renaissance period of taking a break from my hectic workload these past months. Still, tragedy and misfortune rear their ugly heads as they took their twisted shape through disheartening events a couple of days ago. As a result, I'm back to my old loser self, blaming my own inability to become, as well as function like a regular, albeit a happy, retard, to other people. I feel like shit. I'm hating Others again. No, "hate" is such a strong word. Come to think of it, I don't share such sentiments toward them. In fact, I'm disappointed: disappointed of how I find it difficult to appreciate what and how people are instead of trying to find ways to blame them for my insecurities and shortcomings. It's hard, shit, and bullshit all rolled into a clusterfuck of... Whatever.

On More Haggardness And Its Silver Lining

Let's make this a brief and succinct entry, shall we? After undergoing a ruthless and uncompromising series of events this past week, involving a changed work schedule in the middle of the week, school exams issues, and convoluted band gigs, I engulfed a furious barrage of brandy and gin shots after a nice set with the band to cap off a God-forsaken weekday journey on asinine and rocky grounds. I rode the cab with my group in the middle of the night and woke up sleeping in my room, fresh and clean -- save for a nasty blood clot on my left thumb that probably got caught when I climbed over our spiked gates -- without any recollections of what happened in between. Then again, I really DON'T wanna recall 'em. In other news, I saw my classes pulling their last few meetings before I can finally live life by adjusting my work schedule to conventional hours and perhaps drinking more alcohol. I have also decided to respectfully turn down an offer to continue working for my part-tim

On Haggardness

Ever felt like you're at the edge of a cliff and people are prodding you to jump and fuck off? Well, I haven't. Thank God for that. Not to sound like Michelle McCool, but I'm loving life (gay), which is why I try to cram all of the productive things I can muster in my waking hours. For instance, I started taking up MA studies this year, and I'm probably chained with studying for three hours at the very most. Also, in order to finance my studies and pay the bills, I opted to work full-time as a writer in Makati. To top it all off, in hopes of saving up money for the future, I took up another part-time work. In writing, all of these things should forge a fulfilling life and a promising "future" for me. As for the present, however, I'm barely getting the work done. If I were Dexter Morgan, I would have been leaving off blood trails of my victims on the street and dropping scalpels and knives on the crime scene. In other words, my work has been quite a mess. C

On Being Sick

As of writing, I recently just recovered from a nasty bout with colds after days of suffering with clogged nostrils and blowing snot all over fresh rolls of tissue paper. If there's one thing that I don't like besides that lame radio jingle of GIS Express, it's having colds. No, scratch that. I HATE getting sick. Maybe I didn't mind when I was a kid so I can stay at home and play the SNES or the Playstation until I get sicker (hehe). However, when you're focused on earning money to pay for the bills and sustain a particular lifestyle, getting sick is not even an option. It throws you off your groove and makes you cranky the whole time, which is pretty much a bummer. No, scratch that yet again. Getting sick FUCKING SUCKS. Anyway, before the post-sickness stress takes its course, I was able to maintain my sanity throughout the sick week with a dose of laughter. It all started with the entry of my former co-worker to the company I currently am working for. She's no

On Going Home

It's been a busy month for this working student. For those who don't know, I attend morning classes during Tuesdays and Thursdays before taking an hour-long travel to the office via car and bus. After arriving at work, I am immediately swamped with duties of editing documents about things I don't have any clue what it's about and don't have any intention to know. By the time I get back to the house late in the evening, all I want to do is take it easy as reward for a job well done today. However, I still have to catch up with the assigned readings for my Literature class. This grueling schedule won't let up until the middle of October, when the academic semester gasps its final breaths. For now, I live by the mounting pressure of walking the thin line between order and chaos. It's not the easiest life in the world, mind you, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If there's any consolation to this madness, the smoke-filled and heat-laden journey home

On Quotable Quotes

To begin, I remember hearing a rather weird quote from a talk show program in the early '90s of a particular radio station. To paraphrase, the guy said that, "If you aim for the roof, you fall on the ground. But if you aim at the sky, you fall on the roof. So aim high!" This quote never made sense before, and it continues to baffle me up to this day as to why some guy would even coin such an asinine quote. Let's analyze for a second. If the man falls on the ground, he would most likely break his bones at the very worst. However, if he falls on the roof, his body would pass through the steel (ouch) and come crashing down the ground(double ouch). The moral of the story? Never use houses and ground as an analogy to setting your goals. Now, onto the gayness! For years, I have dedicated my life to a simple saying, "The trick is to not care." Regardless of how pessimistic the quote may sound, I can honestly say that it has served be well throughout the times I was

On Ennui

After getting accepted by my current employer, I was expecting a lot of work to be done judging from their tedious exam and interview process. It actually comes as a shock that I am bound to finish my first day with the company having done nothing but play online games at Albino Blacksheep (awesome site). For 8 hours. Worse, the languor will continue for another two months, said by some of the employees there. Imagine doing anything possible with a high-speed Internet -- without a firewall and blocked sites -- and get paid at the same time. Sounds like a great job, right? I digress. One of the reasons why I left my first job is the biting idleness. Although some people welcome it like a long lost friend, I treat it like visiting cousins I never got close with. Sure, the interest is there during the first few minutes when talking and getting to know them. However, after realizing that there's nothing else to talk about, you would probably be wishing that they leave the house soon.

On Job Applications

I enjoy getting interviewed and taking exams for a position in need of my services because I get to dust off the best-looking long sleeves and slacks from my dressers and wear them for the job offer, as well as flexing my intellectual muscles with their challenging exams. Judging from most of the companies I've applied for, I have been rejected only once because my inability to finish their exam, rewriting and condensing a 5,000-word economics article to 3,000, almost got me late with my prior commitment. Not to sound like a braggart, but when you really set your mind into doing something, it almost always follows that you'll get what you want. I know most people who dislike the prospect of looking for another job, even if it means getting employed to a more profitable position with better career growth and opportunities, simply because they don't feel like it. That's not really such a bad thing, mind you, but you gotta do what's best for yourself. However, looking

On 2008 Wishlist

I posted an entry at the beginning of 2008 about goals and objectives that I must accomplish before the year ends . Now, I'm not really big on making resolutions for the new year, but I never have done this before my entire life since I believe that resolutions are meant to be broken. More than half the year have passed and it's time to revisit the wishes I have committed myself into doing this 2008: watch all David Cronenberg, David Lynch, and Stephen Chow films Since I've gotten busier throughout the years, I've decided to cut down on watching movies to save time and get more things done. I don't mind purchasing pirated DVDs from black markets despite their quality, but there are other better things for me to do at this point in time. So there. read five of the penned 'Great American Novels': The Great Gatsby, Moby Dick, To Kill A Mockingbird, Grapes Of Wrath, The Scarlet Letter Although I haven't read any of the titles above, buying the Scarlet Letter

On Being A Filipino

Salamat, Nestle Note: This post has nothing to do with Mark Lapid and his proverbial "Saging lang ang may puso" chutzpah. I have tried being a Filipino for almost all my life. Sadly, I seem unable to translate myself in an expression that is truly Filipino. However, before you saddle me with full-blown remarks such as "Suck white-boy cock" or "Mabuhay ang Inang Bayan," I am proud to say that my favorite author is F. Sionil Jose, one of my favorite movies is Salawahan (Jay Ilagan, among others), and my 2nd year Filipino teacher who everybody hated pegged me as one of her favorite students, for some strange reason. Just when I thought that my stock as a Filipino rose, it immediately devalued after I realized that I have yet to actually care about political issues that shape the country; I have yet to attend anti-government rallies in campus even though I'm not particularly fond of the consensus degradation path taken by our government officials. I would

On Writing

picture taken from this site I live by writing as my current profession. During college, I never had any idea on what I would become in the future (no thanks to Philosophy and its highfalutin mumbo jumbo), but thankfully, the writing world somewhat accepted a wandering douche as part of their low-paying, poorly-compensated, and overworked organization (unless you work in the porn industry, where money is subject to how many dirty thoughts you can come up with). Before I unleash a projected diatribe on everything against writing, let's get a couple of things straight: I ain't knocking other professions such as graphic designers and programmers, in particular, and nor am I bitching about my current workload, which happens to be fair by standard, but of course, people strive for more in life. Writers are an under-appreciated bunch of literates who deserve more than 80-100 pesos for every 400-word article they make. Although people can prepare articles in an instant, that's wi

On Birthdays

I'm not particularly fond of birthdays, but I do appreciate the gesture. I appreciate the fact that people stop from doing whatever shit that have scheduled just to visit your home, partake on the prepared food, chug a beer or two, sing a couple of old songs, and head back to their caves like a sober hillbilly. For years, it has been that way whenever I hold my birthday bash on our home. I only invite childhood friends during such festivities since I've pretty much shared my life with those assholes and it is only fitting for me to spend my purportedly special day with them. (For those who weren't invited, don't fret! Your time will come...) As expected, all of those invited arrived, perhaps making me the only person in our group to celebrate his birthday with everybody in tow. However, I wouldn't be too sad if nobody came. Oh yes, it happened. Well, not quite. Eons ago, only two people came to my birthday celebration (or lack thereof) past midnight at our house as

On Makati

I have been probably trumpeting this ever since, but I really treasure the moments working for iWeb during my first few months after graduating from college. Sure, the people were spiffy and the work was... really something, but I just realized now that the pleasure brought by working at iWeb had a lot to do with the surrounding where the office was originally situated. Although the city is relatively far from where I currently live, traveling from home to Makati and back is like a walk in a park, only the park is an hour-long ride inside crammed buses, and I'm not even going to mention the waiting period. 'Exhausting' is pretty much the word that sums it all up. However, I wouldn't want it any other way because, strangely enough, I enjoy this quaint suffering. In fact, I'll probably live in Makati despite its inherent shortcomings (traffic, people, pollution, etc.) given the chance just for a single reason. Just so you know, it has nothing to do with living in the

On Being A Loser

Ah, it's been long overdue for me to write something about this topic for a long time. Treat it as a love letter dedicated to who I really am. In case you have kind and consoling words regarding the matter at hand, spare me from them. --- I am a loser. No shit. Always have, always will be. It all started when I was still in grade school. People picked up on me since I was not the one to retaliate or offer them a fist in their faces the minute they begin riling up on me. I was mostly the butt of their jokes, the one ridiculed, and nobody really cared if I was treated that way. I befriended one of my classmates around this time for a reason that I can never fully explain or explicate up until now. All he did was cause me torture and agony every time I was with him. One time, my childhood friend heard my classmate berate and cuss me at our home. I was used to the constant castigation my classmate dishes out, but it was the first time my childhood friend heard it. Suffice to say, he w

Benny

People started calling me Benny in grade school. I refused the name simply because it's not part of my first name and is simply a derivation from my last name. However, I eventually relented since everybody started calling me Benny even without my approval. It reached to a point that they called me Benny the Ball (of Top Cat fame) and Benny the Bull (not only of the Chicago Bulls mascot, but also of Nelson Asaytono, the high-scoring power forward of the San Miguel Beermen in the PBA during the mid-'90s). The trend persevered in high school, since I attended the same school. By the time I was applying for a college, I thought of finally dropping the Benny moniker and start anew using my real name. And so, when college application forms ask for my nickname, I wrote my real nickname. However, I still wrote Benny beside my real nickname because, honestly, I have gotten quite acquainted with it. Still, if I were given a choice which name to use, I'll choose my nickname in a hear

Impressions

After realizing that I really didn't have anything to do this afternoon, I decided to clean my room after letting dust settle on my books, magazines, tables, and most of my stuff since the start of the year. I also disposed of the garbage I usually stick inside my drawers since it's been getting difficult opening and closing those damn compartments. Yep, I'm a disorganized mess. Wait, that's a double negative, which really makes me... Nevermind. Anyway, upon taking out 90% of the stuff inside my room, I stumbled upon my college class picture taken six years ago that I keep inside my drawer. I didn't really enjoy my academic experience, dating back since grade school, so there wasn't anything that would make me nostalgic or even emotional at the very least. However, what actually prevents me from throwing it away is that, along with the picture, there includes pieces of papers of what my blockmates thought about me. Our college holds dynamic orientations for fres

Author's Thoughts On Getting A Haircut

The owner of the page authorized a particular person to ask him question regarding having a haircut. The conversation is unedited and is true to the transcript. Person: How long has it been since you last had your haircut? Damned In Blue: Roughly a year ago, around May, but that was because I wanted to trim a certain part of my hair. As for the last time I underwent a drastic change with the help of a barber's pair of shears, that was March of last year when I traded in my puffy-looking do for the bald look. P: What was the initial reaction of people around you after the haircut? DIB: Of course, they were surprised, and with good reason. I wasn't the cleanest-looking guy they know, and for them to see me begin anew with my clean-cut look would at least come as a surprise. P: Of course, it wasn't easy deciding whether or not you should have your haircut. NIB: Definitely. For me, having a haircut is like a baptism or sorts, where I "renounce" my former life and trad

After Two Months

Disclaimer: This entry serves as an atonement for the entries I should have done in the past, which explains the length of this particular entry, as well as the highfaluting words and the occasional unfocused and vague parts contained within. Bear with me on this one. After resigning from my first full-time job to become a home-based writer, I thought I would have more time in my hands since I have total control of how I do and manage my work. Given the working conditions, the job definitely fits in my plan of getting a more focused production out from me, something that I have been striving for ever since because, strangely enough, I like to work. Also, I figured that the job would also allow me to dabble into other things. Aside from the list of things I plan to accomplish before the year ends in an attempt to "get my shit together," so to speak, one of the plans that I had in mind was to write more blog entries ( The Geek Revolution and Canned Thoughts , aside from this

Feel Good Drag

There comes a time when you have to evaluate the path your life has been coursing throughout the year. For me, that time comes every January. Believe me, it wasn't the easiest thing to do -- evaluating 2007. There were undeniably great moments, i.e. watching Youtube and sleeping on my desk during the night shift, summer escapade at Puerto Galera and Bohol, buying an Ibanez Jem Jr., but it was unfortunately overshadowed by really disheartening events that occurred during the later part of the year. Also, I most definitely underwent an epiphany that the stupid shits I have done and wished I did otherwise were, indeed, stupider than they seem. So in essence, my January is the month to not only meant to make be feel like a million dollar douchebag, but it's also the time to clean out the bin of past baggages and make way for new trash to arrive. Ultimately, I end up shedding my old skin and growing back a new shiny coat in order to prevent the old crap from happening again, all for

Following Instructions

Hay. Read carefully. Nominate your top 3 or 5 favorite humor blogs post your list in your blog then go HERE and let them know who you voted Include THIS LINK in your entry as well Distribution of Points: Top 1 – 500 votes Top 2 – 400 votes Top 3 – 300 votes (Top 4 – 200 votes) (Top 5 – 100 votes) Ok. Now, watch me DOH it! Top 1: The Mundane Side Of Road Top 2: The Devil Made Me Do It Top 3: The Badly Written Sitcom Now, do steps 2 and 3. Oh, and by the way, Kwentong Barbero Okay, thanks.

Short Stabs At Reality

Because I love doing late-notice blogs. My celebration for the new year was unintentionally explosive, to say the least. I spent half of my time sitting on the toilet and unleashing my own brand of fireworks out my ass. I was suffering from diarrhea and every time I tried to eat something, I'm just gonna crap it out after 10 minutes or so. Considering that the food during this time of the year is nothing short of succulent and tasty, diarrhea blows. Literally. This year is starting to be one of the worst in recent memory. Even the people that I know aren't too thrilled with hows things are going with their lives. It probably has something to do with personal and internal issues that remain unresolved, just like yours truly. However, I don't really like to think about it. As Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge said, "Come what maaaaaaaay..." Since late last year, a lot of guys whom I hanged out before, during, and after work have resigned, plans to resi

2008 Wish List

watch all David Cronenberg, David Lynch, and Stephen Chow films read five of the penned 'Great American Novels': The Great Gatsby , Moby Dick , To Kill A Mockingbird , Grapes Of Wrath , The Scarlet Letter slowly but surely pick off Pablo Neruda writings off the shelves, in an attempt to bring back my fancy for poetry have Kings of Convenience's "Cayman Islands," "Winning The Battle, Losing The War," "Homesick," "Manhattan Skyline," "I Don't Know What I Can Save You From," "The Weight Of My Words," and "Failure" down pat on the acoustic FINALLY master the chromatic scale and sweep-picking have the complete collection of Jim Lee's X-Men , all in .pdf format memorize and name parts of the car without even having to look at them, a skill that alpha-males are inherently blessed with list subject to change over the course of the month
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