Damned In Blue

I've just had a financial wake-up call after reading "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi. The hard truth? My financial literacy is terrible, and it's been messing with my money situation for years now. 2022 was my golden year financially. There was high demand for my services, jobs were everywhere, and money flowed steadily. But when that dried up, everything went downhill fast. I've been chasing that same success by taking on more jobs, but it's like trying to catch lightning twice—it just doesn't happen. Reading Ramit's book made me see how shaky my financial foundation really is. I'm not wasting money on myself (most goes to my kids' education and needs), but I've gotten into the habit of spending whatever comes in without planning or saving properly. Right now, my money is tied up in two overlapping life insurance plans (I realized too late I didn't need the second one) and payments on a plot of land that I started in 20...

  I still remember stepping on that scale in 2019 and seeing 185 pounds staring back at me. My stomach dropped. This was the heaviest I'd ever been, well beyond my previous high of 165 pounds back in '99. Something had to change, but I had no idea that day would mark the beginning of a six-year journey that would completely transform my relationship with my body. Rock Bottom Let me be honest about where I was in 2019: I was eating late-night meals minutes before falling asleep. I'd wake up and immediately stuff food in my mouth. Fast food was my go-to more often than not. Sure, I'd hit the gym for 30 minutes a couple times a week, but who was I kidding? Those workouts couldn't outrun my terrible diet. My body was sending clear signals that I was ignoring. My shoulders ached constantly. Health issues popped up like unwelcome guests. I felt heavy, both physically and mentally. The worst part? I knew I was doing this to myself, but I couldn't seem to break the ...

I just put down "Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin a few days ago, and it's stuck with me in a way books rarely do. It's actually the first novel I've read in about two years - the last one was "Fingersmith" by Sarah Waters back in 2023. As someone who's played video games since the '90s, this book hit differently. It gets into the nitty-gritty of how games work, how they're made, and how they're sold. Most books don't touch this stuff, which made it feel real to me right away. The heart of the story is Sam Masur and Sadie Green's relationship. These two game developers build their entire lives around gaming - creating together, fighting over their work, and letting games shape pretty much everything about them. Their collaborator Marx plays a role too, but it's really about Sam and Sadie. What really got me was how the book uses dying in video games as this running theme. Any gamer knows that dying ...

I started 2024 with a simple idea - writing down three things I'm grateful for each week. After a rough 2023 that hit my business hard, I needed to find my footing again. It seemed like a good way to reset and appreciate what I had. At first, it was easy. My kids topped the list every time - they're my world, after all. I wrote about my job, the chances life gave me, the small wins along the way. But something weird started happening as the weeks went by. The same things kept showing up in my journal.  Don't get me wrong - I love my kids just as much as ever, but writing it down week after week started feeling like going through the motions. You know how when you say a word over and over, it starts losing its meaning? That's what happened with my gratitude practice. The feelings were still there, but the words felt empty. I was stuck in a loop, grateful for the same things every week, and it started to feel pointless. Then a few weeks ago, it clicked. The problem wasn...

I used to hide behind labels. You know the type - those neat little boxes we put ourselves in to make sense of who we are. For me, it was being "introverted." Sure, I prefer my own space and don't naturally gravitate toward big social gatherings. But I've learned that clinging to these labels can hold us back from experiencing life fully. Let me tell you about a turning point in my journey. It was November 2019, and I found myself in Chiang Mai, Thailand, for an SEO conference. I didn't choose to go - as part of the sponsoring team, I had to be there. My first instinct? Pure resistance. The thought of networking with hundreds of strangers made my stomach churn. But here's the thing about comfort zones - they're more like prisons when we let them control our choices. Standing in that conference hall, surrounded by people I'd only known through usernames and forum posts, something unexpected happened. I started talking. First to one person, then another...

L et me tell you about the hardest lesson I've learned as a freelancer: stopping the endless cycle of comparing myself to others.  It's not the late-night client emails or the feast-or-famine income that keeps me up at night. It's those moments when I'm scrolling through LinkedIn or chatting in freelancer groups, seeing others land massive clients or post about their six-figure months. I catch myself doing it almost automatically. Sarah just landed that dream client I pitched to last month. Mike's posting about his best quarter ever. And here I am, staring at my own modest wins, feeling like they're suddenly not enough. The thoughts creep in: "I know I'm good at what I do. So why aren't I there yet?" Last week, I found myself spiraling after seeing a freelancer with half my experience charging double my rates. I started questioning everything - my skills, my pricing, my entire approach to freelancing. The worst part? I was actually having a goo...